I have been worrying incessantly this week, I won’t bore you with what – they never come to pass after all, or at least I keep telling myself they don’t – but it is safe to say that whether valid or not I am driving myself completely crazy.
So I thought I would do something useful … write it out with a blog whilst enjoying the charming peace of Bake Off on the telly. Cake week, who could worry their way through the delights of Mary Berry and Roulades?
I am very familiar with the spectre of worry, I have to admit to being a little bit prone to overthinking things. I’ve always been so terribly jealous of those people who can turn their brains off at will, it isn’t a skill for me. And I am sure there are lots of people out there who feel the same way.
SO what to do?
Well I am quite a big fan of The Chimp Paradox – if you are a worrier you should definitely check it out too – and one of the ways to deal with a rampaging chimp in your head is to distract it! As the cakes weren’t completely working, I am resorting to WordPress, the internet and Pinterest.
Always Remember, Many Of Your Worries Are Unfounded!
Lo and behold, it turns out that 85 percent of what subjects worried about never happened, and with the 15 percent that did happen, 79 percent of subjects discovered either they could handle the difficulty better than expected, or the difficulty taught them a lesson worth learning.
I love The Huffington Post, I seem to spend quite a lot of time reading it and this article was as good a use of my time as any. The research backed stats to persuade you that you are likely stressing yourself out for absolutely nothing, and a couple of ways to put a stop to your brains rampage.
Ask Yourself – What is the worst that could happen?
Have you ever read Feel the Fear And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers? If you haven’t and worrying is something you are prone to I would highly recommend it.
I have a very well worn copy that has been on my bookshelf for many years, just opening the book to any of the yellowing pages has a soothing effect now. It is something I pick up before an interview or meeting a client, if I am worrying about work or money or kids … the situation doesn’t really matter. It’s about recognising what is causing the worry and tackling it head on.
Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the bigger underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness! This is the one truth that some people have difficulty understanding. When you push through the fear, you will feel such a sense of relief as your feeling of helplessness subsides. You will wonder why you did not take action sooner. You will become more and more aware that you can truly handle anything that life hands you.
Now I have to apologise in advance for this, but this is one of my favourite memes … just avert your eyes if you are sensitive to bad language … but this helps me immensely.
If they don’t offer you the job it means there is something better around the corner, if the client thinks you are too expensive they don’t deserve your talents, I never had a money worry that I was still worrying about in a few months and kids will always find a way to give you grey hair.
What’s the worst that could happen? Chuck it in the f**k it bucket and move on!
People Don’t Think About You As Much As You Think They Do
And with googling this point I have just solved my own worry, just like that – and with another one of my favourite sources for blogging wisdom too. LifeHack.Org
I’m a people pleaser, and as anyone who recognises that trait in themselves will understand, this causes me a HUGE amount of worry and stress. Whether it be a boss, a partner, a colleague or even a child it can be quite an insidious and unconscious tendency.
The key is in recognising it!
There are advantages to having someone’s high regard but if it doesn’t come naturally, by just being you, you are also paying a high price for their esteem. There will be a tendency to shuffle issues under the carpet and tolerate things that don’t work for you.
Not everyone will ‘get’ you and that is entirely ok. There is an awful lot of awesome in being a little bit weird, all the best people are you know – it is what being a real individual is all about.
And finally …
It is important to keep in mind that worry really is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but gets you absolutely no where.
If all else fails, write a quick blog to distract yourself – after all, tomorrow is a brand new day. Grab it with both hands!